the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
