is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
