I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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