No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
