Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
