How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
