I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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