Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
