My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and she was petting her beer can
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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