Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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