One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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