i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize