so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
