Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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