Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
