there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Randomize
