i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize