True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize