The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
