It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
