Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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