Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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