come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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