yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
and you fell through a lawn chair
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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