I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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