I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We're too hungover to prance.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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