someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
