they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
