I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
