hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
