I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
