Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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