I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My pussy is not your playground.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
