Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
