have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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