I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
