He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
