Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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