No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
