omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
