Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
