I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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