Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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