Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
