there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
