i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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