1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize