A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
