omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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