How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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