Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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