He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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