I wish I could teleport
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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